Real Miracles, Healing Stories
Helen Leeper—A New Hope
THE MAZE
When physical health problems arise, most people know where to turn; but for
behavioral health issues, knowing when and where to seek treatment can be
confusing and intimidating. For those suffering, hope for recovery and hope
for tomorrow is also elusive.
Helen Leeper experienced that confusion and hopelessness as she wandered through the maze of mental health problems, throughout most of her adult life. This is Helen’s story of how and where, she found help and hope.
CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Helen grew up in rural Idaho with her mother, a brother,
a sister and her father, who was employed as a ranch hand. Helen loved the
ranch life – the
outdoor life style, 4H activities and raising her own horse. But Helen’s
mother was not supportive of Helen’s ‘tom-boy’ activities.
So, Helen spent a lot time with Dad, displeasing Mother even more.
When Helen was 12 years old, her maternal grandfather was placed in a mental health facility. His misfortune created more anxiety and anger in Helen’s mother: fearing the stigma the family would endure when word got out about Grandpa. For years Helen believed Grandpa’s problems were the source of Mother’s frequent fits of rage and erratic behavior. Much later in life Helen realized that Mother also suffered from mental illness, for which she never sought treatment. But as a child, her mother’s unhappiness slowly became her unhappiness - feelings which took root and grew through out her years at home.
CHOICES
As a young adult living on her own in Oregon, Helen’s sadness for life
festered into depression. Awareness of an emotional problem came over Helen,
but the memory of her mother’s anger about such matters created hesitation
in seeking treatment. As time passed, the depression became life threatening,
and Helen ultimately reached out for help.
She elected therapy as her solution, but that didn’t go as planned. After Helen exposed her most private and painful memories to her counselor, she disclosed those confidential details to one of Helen’s friends. Betrayed, humiliated and angry, Helen ended her sessions and promised herself “never again” to confide. So, Helen withdrew, choosing to live and suffer alone.
PILING ON
Grasping for emotional support, Helen went to her mother and, for the first
time, discussed her emotional problems. But, her mother showed no compassion.
Instead, her mother dished out shock, anger and denial. Hurt and confused,
Helen retreated into herself once again.
As anger and depression ate away at Helen, her physical health began to fail. Painful and debilitating fibromyalgia set in and serious kidney problems developed, complicating her life and darkening her depression. Helen sought medical treatment for her physical ailments but she was reluctant to discuss her mental disorder - that issue went undiagnosed and untreated.
Helen’s situation grew even more dismal when she lost her job to corporate downsizing. The rising tide of financial disaster now threatened Helen with her loss of vital health insurance benefits. Lost in the fog of despair, Helen became despondent. She spent the next several months as a shut-in, relying on pain medication and sleep to hide from life. With her condition most bleak, Helen found strength to seek help one more time. This time she found Saint Alphonsus.
A NEW HOPE
Helen visited the Family Medical Residency of Idaho,
a partnership between Saint Alphonsus, St. Luke's, and West Valley Medical
Centers, and the Veterans Administration. With full understanding of her financial situation,
the Family Medical Residency of Idaho opened their doors to her. “I
was in a world of hurt and Family Medical Residency of Idaho stepped up,” rejoiced
Helen.
Along with her medical treatment, Helen was referred to a Mindfulness Based Pain Management Group, led by Ted Burgess, L.C.S.W. with Saint Alphonsus Behavioral Health. She points out, “I have been so thankful for that group, especially all the support I received by the social workers. I can now handle pain so much better and reduce my pain medication.” And as Helen’s emotions became more stable and as happiness returned to her life, her physical health also improved. “That in itself is a miracle,” Helen exclaims.
Later, Helen joined a Women and Mood Disorders Group. Led by an outpatient counselor Damiana Uberuaga, L.C.S.W. for Saint Alphonsus Behavioral Health, this specialized women’s group allows Helen to openly share her thoughts and fears with others like her, and receive compassionate support. Helen says thankfully, “Releasing the anger and stress, along with acquiring tools for living a positive life, has helped me tremendously. The tools do work!”
In addition to the women's group, Helen's counselor Damiana referred her to Dr. Sandra MacDonald, a psychiatrist with Saint Alphonsus Psychiatric Center. Helen was seen by Sandra MacDonald, MD, who diagnosed her with bipolar disorder, opening the door to proper medication and one-on-one therapy sessions.
Now 59 years old, Helen reflects on the new direction her life has taken since she found Saint Alphonsus. “It changed my life in so many ways. Through the Pain Management Group and the Women’s Group, I can live each day to the fullest and for that I am so thankful to Saint Alphonsus.”
Helen continues, “Now I have hope that I will get better, and I live today in hope of a better tomorrow.” While hope is only a beginning, it is a necessary beginning to the road back to mental health.